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Commodore's office aboard the Imperial II-class Star Destroyer Warrior. In the increasingly-cramped room, Rear Admiral Hav Antiel, commodore of the ship, was regaling a motley crew of pilots, officers, holograms, and droid with the story behind his cybernetic hands. By now, Antiel had explained that he and his band, the Pink Banthas, had been attacked and kidnapped by a Hutt-connected Klatooinian named Kithastas.
Antiel yawned as he wiped the lenses of his eyeglasses on the edge of his tunic. He had finally hooked the growing crowd gathered in his office. "I honestly didn’t even know landspeeders had trunks."
“Where did they take you?†asked a young officer leaning on Antiel’s desk.
“Good question. I don’t really know for sure, to be honest. I didn’t know what was going on, or who else was tied up in the trunk with me, or where they were taking us. The only thing I could think is that we were going to die.â€
“No spoilers!†yelped a gunner from the back of the room.
“That’s when Squieedo, our harmonique player, said the funniest thing; ‘They’re not gonna kill us, you know,’ he said. I looked at him—well, I was blindfolded, so I probably didn’t really look at him—and I’m like, ‘What do you mean?’ and he’s like, ‘They could’ve just killed us back at the bar,’ and that they were probably kidnapping us.â€
“Naturally, because you’re a royal prince from Dosuun!†said the hologram of Admiral Miles Prower. Antiel sighed and forced a laugh.
“That’s the gist of it, yes, Prower.â€
“Probably took you to some seedy warehouse or storage locker deep in the heart of Toth,†added Prower.
“Not exactly,†said Antiel. “When the speeder finally stopped, it was still dark. A couple of Niktos and a Weequay pulled us out of the trunk and led us to a studio of some kind. It looked like where you might film an evening news program, but it also seemed like it might have been someone’s apartment. I’m not sure. I was pretty confused and scared at the time.
“Anyway, Kithastas is there waiting for us—me, Squieedo, and the bass player, at least. Still not sure what happened to our drummer at this point—â€
Antiel’s black R4 unit whistled. The commodore didn’t need to look at his datapad to know that the agromech was telling him to get to the point.
“Right. Anyway, Kithastas was waiting for us with a film crew. He was wearing a plain black baseball cap and a really fake-looking stick-on beard, and he said something like, ‘Ah, here’s the star of our picture,’ and pushed me in front of the camera. My hands were still tied, and it was really hard to adjust to the bright lights after being blindfolded for so long.â€
Antiel looked around his office. Everyone seemed to be hanging on his every word. He even spotted a stormtrooper peeking his head into the doorway.
“I’m there, under the lights, camera in front of me, and I’m thinking ‘What the heck is going on?’ Kithastas walks up to me with his lame beard and says something like, ‘Our star needs his motivation for this scene. Just imagine that poor mommy and daddy are worried sick about their little prince, and you’re going to show them how scared you are—and why it’s so important to pay the ransom.’ Then Squieedo says, ‘Told you so!’ and one of the guards knocks him out cold.
“So I tell Kithastas that this is a bad idea. My folks aren’t your typical parents, and they don’t negotiate with kidnappers. This whole tour-Wild-Space-with-your-band-instead-of-going-to-college idea didn’t please them at all, and they would likely see my current situation as karma or something.
“But Kithastas isn’t buying it. I try to resist filming the ransom video, and his goons start beating me up, and eventually I cave and record it. Kithastas is on some kind of ‘auteur’ kick, and he makes me do like 20 takes before he’s eventually happy.â€
“So what happened?†asked a mechanic. “Did the queen pay the ransom?â€
“Obviously not,†said the gunner. “Look at his freaky metal hands! No offense, sir.â€
Antiel laughed and shook his head. “Obviously not. I doubt the Dutchess of Sosuuna would pay even a half credit ransom.â€
“So…what happened?†asked the same mechanic.
“Well, we stayed there in that studio/apartment for some time. Months, I'd say. At one point I was sure that Kithastas had forgotten about us. He’d send one of his goons from time to time to check if we were still alive, but that was about it. Until one day, when someone new showed up…â€
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